Abstinence Funding Gets Dumped

	Government Cuts Abstinence Funding from Budget Will We Get Something Better or Worse? by Brian Housman

President Obama just released his proposed budget for 2010. Much to the disappointment of many parents and educators, he has recommended cutting all federal funding for abstinence education programs in public schools. At $170 million, in terms of federal spending, it was only a small amount to begin with compared to what is spent on other "family planning" programs and sex education initiatives. But small as it might have been, it was still a willingness on the government's part to explore other practices for educating our teens in their sexual options.

Those who are in support of abstinence programs (myself included) are deeply disturbed by the blanket disregard for other options. Jimmy Hester, co-founder of True Love Waits, said via email response, “From a medical standpoint, there is no such thing as safe sex for unmarried young people, so we believe it is a disservice to eliminate opportunities for them to hear a positive message about remaining abstinent until marriage." While I believe abstinence is realistic choice that many teens will honor, I also don't live under a delusion that all (or even most) will. So I don't fault the government for wanting to offer many choices and a variety of programs. What I find alarming is the government's implication by this budget choice that teen sexual abstinence is not doable. Or better than that, that it is not a preferable and honorable standard to live by.

You Did What? Based On What?

The two reasons some in the family planning field have wanted to cut the federal funding for abstinence education is a belief that it just doesn't work. There has been a grand total of one federally funded study done on the effectiveness of abstinence programs. This study only evaluated a few programs used in schools and it evaluated the early phases of the programs. When the programs were only given funding for a few years there is no way this could be consider an accurate longitudinal study especially when other studies have shown just the opposite. Melissa Pardue of the Heritage Foundation sites ten different national studies that have shown abstinence based sex education as being effective in reducing teen pregnancy. Four of the studies were published in peer reviewed journals.

Another reason given for cutting the funding is the recent increase in teen pregnancy. For almost twenty years teen pregnancy and sexual activity trends were going down. Then in 2007 the rates for both went up. Again in 2008 they went up. And I would guess it will go up again in 2009. While this recent uptick is disturbing, no one in their right mind can accurately predict why. Even officials at the CDC have said it is way to early to even know if this is an anomaly or a trend. In the end, if it is shown that the leading factor in causing kids to engage in more sexual activity is abstinence education in public schools, then I for one will agree that we should eliminate those programs. But there has been no known study.

How Now Will We Respond

If the government moves forward with President Obama's recommendation, it will require some serious evaluation from the church and community groups on how to move forward with the message of abstinence. Hester said, "With the potential loss of federal funding, families, churches and other organizations will need to be creative and step up to the challenge of making sure students clearly understand the benefits of choosing abstinence and the risks of premarital sex.” Will need to be creative. That's a great statement those of us in the church need to hear. Not need to be dependent. Not need to expect the government to provide or even agree. Instead it will require us to put our heads together and be willing to think of new ways to communicate what is God's best to a new generation of students.

I believe teens need to know the truth and potential conequences of sexual activity as well as all their options whether that be oral contraceptives, condoms, and yes, abstinence. I don't expect all students to embrace a biblical value system but they should at least be aware of a different option. A better option. An option that if lived by has been proven to eliminate the risk of pregnancy, shame, regret, loss of reputation, and loss of future potential. Whether that option is funded by the government or the shoestring budgets of grassroots organization, it is worth the cost.

Teen Phone Flirters Charged with Child Porn

	Teens Swapping Nude Pics Lead to Child Pornography Charges But Who's Really to Blame? Parents? Teens? Phone providers? Or maybe it's all of us. by Brian Housman

The issue of teens using their cell phones as the latest way to experiment with their sexuality continues to grow. Some of you will remember that I wrote an article last year for Awake to Life entitled Flirting with the Phone that addressed this issue. I which I could say that things have gotten better since last year but that would be asking for a lot. As with most issues in teen culture, the problem is like a snowball tumbling down a hill. It continues to grow, become more intense, and pick up speed. And sadly, we usually ignore it until its about to collide with those below.

Besides sending sexual text messages to one another, it's becoming more common for teens to send sexually oriented photos of themselves to one another. Usually this is done as a form of flirting or foreplay but there have been situations where the photos were send as a form of harassment.

Compound the Problem with More Problems

Law enforcement officials in communities all over are feeling overwhelmed by schools and parents wanting them to do something. The solution they've come up with is to arrest the students on felony charges of distributing or receiving child pornography. Just this week in Greenburg, PA three girls and four boys were charged in conjunction with child pornography after the girls sent the boys semi-nude photos of themselves. Similarly, Newark, OH girl was charged after sending sexual photos of herself to a number of classmates.

Now I'm no expert on the law but surely we can agree that this is a poor way for any authority to handle the matter. Imagine your son getting that familiar ring on his cell phone that tells him he has a text message. Only when he opens it there is a nude picture of a classmate sent by the classmate! The next thing he knows the police are handcuffing him for possession of child pornography. Wouldn't that be like someone sending you a pipe bomb in the mail and getting arrested for possession of explosives?

It's no wonder there is such a distrust from teens toward adults. The people that should be working to protect them only add to the problem (at least in this case).

Addressing the Real Issue

It should break any parents heart to know their teen would find it acceptible and funny to send a flirt photo of themselves to someone else. And that is where the problem lies: with the teen and with the parent. This is not a law enforcement issue. It's a family issue.

According to most recent surveys, more than 70% of all teens own a cell phone. I'm not altogether against the idea of a teen having a cell phone. If used the right way it can be a useful communication tool. Herein lies the other problem. The majority of teen cell phone owners were handed their phone with no strings attached. No stated expectations of etiquette. No time restrictions. No boundaries for usage.

If the parent has to sign a contract with the cell provider, then why don't parents require their teens to sign a contract with them? It doesn't have to be long or too detailed but a Teen Cell Phone Contract can help put reasonable expectations on your teens for how they should and shouldn't use the cell phone. If you as a parent don't pay the bill, you are in breach of contract and your phone is no longer usable. A Teen Cell Contract helps you keep your teen to the same standard. It's no just you mandating behavior. It's your teen signing off that they agree to do "x,y,z" in order to receive the privilege of using a cell phone.

I don't think this is going to solve every case of teens sending flirty messages or sexual pictures. But it does set the bar of what is expected and give you an out as a parent to respond in a calculated way to what was already agreed upon instead of just out of emotion. If you would like to download a sample Teen Cell Phone Contract you can do so at AwaketoLife.org

How Much is Virginity Worth?

	Woman to Auction Virginity for 3.6 Million Dollars But What's the Long-term Price by Brian Housman

Some people are responding to the state of the economy in unusual ways. Take Natalie Dylan, 22-year-old San Diego woman for instance. She recently placed her virginity up for auction. That's right, her virginity. And so far the bidding stands at 3.6 million dollars.

Here is a gift that God intended to be shared with her future spouse that instead ends up on the auction block. As if this is nothing more than a financial transaction.

A transaction yes, but one of priceless worth. To attempt to put a price on it (even one as high as 3.6M) only serves to demean it. This is a transaction that for a young Jewish couple in biblical days would be years in planning, met with much anticipation, and as evidenced by Song of Solomon, sometimes leave one another speechless. I can't remember ever buying something that left me speechless.

A Gift Only Your Teen Can Give

There has been much talk lately on the news about teens and virginity pledges. Do they work? Do they not? But there is better question to be asked: Does it really matter? As a teen does your virginity have any worth. That's a great question to ask your teen this week. Go to FoxNews and pull up the story. Then ask your teen, "What kind of price should someone pay in order for you to be willing to give them a priceless gift that only you can give?" Look them in the eyes and tell them in your own words about the gift that God has given them to give to their future spouse. And it's okay if you get a little speechless.

I Pledge to Make a Difference

	I Pledge to Make a Difference New Insights Into the Effectiveness of Abstinence Pledges by Brian Housman

Over the past two weeks there has been a firestorm of stories in the media concerning a newly released study by Janet Rosenbaum on the effectiveness of abstinence pledges among teenagers. Among the students tracked over a ten year period, 289 took a virginity pledge
with the other 645 not taking a pledge but having similar beliefs about sex. The study showed that there was no difference between the two groups in the sexual activities or number of sexual partners and those who had pledged were less likely to use contraceptives once sexually active. All of the students were said to be of similar religious commitment.

Immediately, spokespersons on each side of the sex education debate responded in full force. Proponents of abstinence-only education labeled the study "inconclusive" and "deceptive." Those in the abstinence-plus camp tauted the study as the first irrefutable evidence that school abstinence-only programs don't work. And both sides are accusing the other of a political agenda. As a parent, it can be difficult to wade through the rhetoric, look at the facts, and then know how to respond. As followers of Christ, we are commanded to proclaim truth, but first we must understand what is true. With that said, take a few minutes to look at the some of the findings of the study and what the ramifications are for teenagers--more specifically for your teen.

Standing On Its Own Merits

The headline from many media outlets has been that this study proves that teens who make an abstinence pledge are just as sexually active as their counterparts. An obvious fact of the study which the mainstream media have either ignored or were unable to decipher is that the study is restricted to religious students only. Instead of a cross section of all students, the study takes a slice from the pie and isolates it. That doesn't make the study flawed or any less important but rather more specific than some have reported.

A second observation from the study is that among religious teens there is no difference in their sexual activity. Both groups had the same rate of vaginal, oral, and anal sex, as well as the same STD contraction rate. Also, 82% of all pledgers who later became sexually active denied or forgot they ever made a pledge to purity. In other words, committing to an abstinence pledge does not appear to be a significant factor in curbing or preventing sexual activity.

The most startling evidence in the study is that those pledgers who become sexually active are far less likely to use any form of contraceptive. These religious students put themselves at a greater risk for pregnancy and STDs than their non-religious sexually active peers. Bill Albert, chief program director for The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy said, "What have we gained if we encourage young people only to delay sex until they are older, but when they do become sexually active, they don't protect themselves or their partner?" While the purpose of abstinence programs is not to "only delay sex," Albert's point is well taken.

The last factor of interest in the study is that those who pledged abstinence were about 17 years old when making the pledge and delayed sexual activity until they were on average 20 years old. Since there was no difference between the two groups, the deciding factor in the teens' approach to sexual activity isn't whether or not they made a pledge but rather their faith itself. In the end, it's not about the program but rather how active they are in nurturing their faith. Even the author of the study, Rosenbaum, observed of these religious teens, "They are less sexually experienced to begin with. Their friends are engaging in less risk behavior. Their parents also go to church and they are also choosing to go to church and to stay affiliated with evangelical Christianity."

Problems with the Process

Over the years I've seen a couple of flaws (there are actually more but for today I'm sticking with two) with the way most churches have attempted to teach sexual purity. One is that it is taught in an artificial environment. Many times students are taken away for a weekend retreat or camp or do a special series at youth group. It is like talking about God's design for sex in a vacuum void of real world experiences. Students hear truth but it is presented in an artificial and highly emotionally-charged environment. Many of the commitment ceremonies are done in the style of a public "altar call" where peer pressure and emotions abound. In that kind of environment it is hard to avoid any unintended manipulation. Lastly, students go home and rarely experience followup on the subject. It's as if the church did its job and now we can all move on.

The second problem I see with many of the abstinence programs is they are carried out with little or no involvement from Mom or Dad.Here is one of the most important decisions a teen will ever make--to live out their sexuality according to God's design--and mom and dad are not present. In fifteen years of ministry, I've only had two opportunities to talk to students about sexual purity in which parents were in the audience.

I know of these flaws firsthand because these are mistakes I made myself as a church leader. It's only through years of poorly teaching the subject that I can see that it is time for a new approach. I'm tired of watching our teens make the same mistakes over and over quite possibly because they were not fully equipped to make a choice they could keep.

As parents we must stop relying on any one program or curriculum to be the answer. As good as some programs may be, they were never meant to the sole means of sex education, nor were they meant to silence parents who want to be involved. I've known the creator of True Love Waits for several years. I know Jimmy Hester's heart well enough to say he never set out to create a program that would be a magic bullet. Rather he was trying to help churches begin the process of education, accountability, and commitment--one that supplements a parents job without supplanting it.

Setting A New Course

It's time that we as stop sitting idly by while other handle the uncomfortable work of talking about sex. And it's time the church empowers parents to be the spiritual authorities of their teens. What if we all talked about these issues out in the open--at school, at home, at church? What if the church presented the truth to students but with mom and dad as part of the process? What if we shared the whole story with students, with all the possibilities, and trusted that the same Holy Spirit that is active in us is also active in our teens? What if
parents took an active role in teaching their teens the role of dating and how to have healthy friendships with the opposite sex? There is a role for all of us to play.

None of these things in and of themselves will make a difference. Rather think of each of them as a spoke on a wheel. All of them are required for the tire to be balanced and to function according to its design. Your teen also has a design. One given to them by God. One we help them discover by doing all the right things not just the easy or convenient. I can't tell you what your discussion with your teen should include, how long it should be, or what stories you should tell. But I can tell you that as you share truth with them, from a heart that is overflowing with love and concern, that the right words will come.