How Young is Too Young on Facebook

Our son turns thirteen in two weeks. With the big date we officially say "goodbye" to childhood and dive into the teen years. It's also the day our son is wanting an answer to his yearlong question, "Can I have a Facebook page?" It's a question thousands of parents have to answer everyday.

So far for us it's been an easy question to answer. Facebook's registration requirement states that a person must be at least thirteen years old in order to have an account. Apparently, Facebook is getting more serious about keeping kids safe online by keeping them off of their site. I recently read that Facebook removes 20,000 under age thirteen profiles from their site each day.

It would be easy to say, "Who really cares? Who would ever know?" But there are several reasons why it matters. For one I would know...and my son would know. I've been teaching him that integrity is what you do even when no one is watching or will ever know. And that character is created by the small decisions we make. So to tell a small lie when no one will know and no one will get hurt, yeah, it still matters.

Admittedly, I've been a rebel my whole life. One of those types that questions everything and always wants to know "why" with any rule that is put before me. I want my kids to have a little of that independence and willingness to take risks but I also want them to see authority differently than I did. We want to teach our kids how to live under proper authority and that reasonable rules are a healthy part of life. It's not like Facebook has said, "You can't ever be on here," nor have we said that. They've simply said, "Not yet."

Sometimes delayed gratification can be even more satisfying than immediate pleasure. In a culture where most everything is instantaneous, won't it be worth it to wait just a few more precious weeks for Facebook?

By saying "No, not yet" has also given us a prolonged period of time to model for our son (and daughter who is right on his heels) how to use Facebook properly. We've had many conversations about what not to post online, being mindful of your comments to others online, and how quickly posts and photos can be picked up and reposted by others. Now he seems prepared for the plunge instead of being thrown in and figuring it out along the way.

I know many of you are in (or have been) in a similar situation. I'd love to know your thoughts on this issue. How have you navigated this issue with your teen or tween?

Teen Phone Flirters Charged with Child Porn

	Teens Swapping Nude Pics Lead to Child Pornography Charges But Who's Really to Blame? Parents? Teens? Phone providers? Or maybe it's all of us. by Brian Housman

The issue of teens using their cell phones as the latest way to experiment with their sexuality continues to grow. Some of you will remember that I wrote an article last year for Awake to Life entitled Flirting with the Phone that addressed this issue. I which I could say that things have gotten better since last year but that would be asking for a lot. As with most issues in teen culture, the problem is like a snowball tumbling down a hill. It continues to grow, become more intense, and pick up speed. And sadly, we usually ignore it until its about to collide with those below.

Besides sending sexual text messages to one another, it's becoming more common for teens to send sexually oriented photos of themselves to one another. Usually this is done as a form of flirting or foreplay but there have been situations where the photos were send as a form of harassment.

Compound the Problem with More Problems

Law enforcement officials in communities all over are feeling overwhelmed by schools and parents wanting them to do something. The solution they've come up with is to arrest the students on felony charges of distributing or receiving child pornography. Just this week in Greenburg, PA three girls and four boys were charged in conjunction with child pornography after the girls sent the boys semi-nude photos of themselves. Similarly, Newark, OH girl was charged after sending sexual photos of herself to a number of classmates.

Now I'm no expert on the law but surely we can agree that this is a poor way for any authority to handle the matter. Imagine your son getting that familiar ring on his cell phone that tells him he has a text message. Only when he opens it there is a nude picture of a classmate sent by the classmate! The next thing he knows the police are handcuffing him for possession of child pornography. Wouldn't that be like someone sending you a pipe bomb in the mail and getting arrested for possession of explosives?

It's no wonder there is such a distrust from teens toward adults. The people that should be working to protect them only add to the problem (at least in this case).

Addressing the Real Issue

It should break any parents heart to know their teen would find it acceptible and funny to send a flirt photo of themselves to someone else. And that is where the problem lies: with the teen and with the parent. This is not a law enforcement issue. It's a family issue.

According to most recent surveys, more than 70% of all teens own a cell phone. I'm not altogether against the idea of a teen having a cell phone. If used the right way it can be a useful communication tool. Herein lies the other problem. The majority of teen cell phone owners were handed their phone with no strings attached. No stated expectations of etiquette. No time restrictions. No boundaries for usage.

If the parent has to sign a contract with the cell provider, then why don't parents require their teens to sign a contract with them? It doesn't have to be long or too detailed but a Teen Cell Phone Contract can help put reasonable expectations on your teens for how they should and shouldn't use the cell phone. If you as a parent don't pay the bill, you are in breach of contract and your phone is no longer usable. A Teen Cell Contract helps you keep your teen to the same standard. It's no just you mandating behavior. It's your teen signing off that they agree to do "x,y,z" in order to receive the privilege of using a cell phone.

I don't think this is going to solve every case of teens sending flirty messages or sexual pictures. But it does set the bar of what is expected and give you an out as a parent to respond in a calculated way to what was already agreed upon instead of just out of emotion. If you would like to download a sample Teen Cell Phone Contract you can do so at AwaketoLife.org